Van Life Aspirations

Initially, our plan was to acquire a Sprinter van and have it customized by a reputable company in Portland, OR. We made a significant deposit and collaborated on the design through multiple discussions with the owner.

As we approached the critical stage of ordering components, doubts began to creep in. We ultimately realized that a van wouldn’t suit our needs. We desired the flexibility to disconnect from our future home to run errands or for my partner to access nearby hiking trails. After renting a converted van for a weekend, we were skeptical about making such a small space work long-term.

Our fascination with van life blossomed during the pandemic, and we fell for it completely. Therefore, canceling the conversion felt like abandoning a dream, but we held onto the hope that we could find a living arrangement that suited us.

My partner began to research owning an RV, a concept we had never envisioned for ourselves. We also had no experience towing a camper, especially one large enough for full-time living. Our reluctance to own a truck limited our options.

This brings us to the transition towards a towable RV, which required some convincing. We attended a large RV show in Portland but found ourselves unimpressed with the glossy interiors. What we sought was something distinctive and full of character.

The Teardrop Trailer That Captured Our Hearts

My partner discovered a unique teardrop-shaped trailer. Contrary to what you might imagine, our trailer spans 21 feet and includes a queen-size bed, kitchen, wet bath, and dinette. It features numerous windows and solid maple cabinetry, giving it a cozy feel.

We acquired our trailer six months prior to our retirement and nine months before our planned departure. This timeline allowed us ample opportunity to familiarize ourselves with it and learn the nuances of RV ownership. At that point, we barely understood what a black tank was, let alone how to empty it.

Since our camper weighs just under 4000 pounds, we were confident we could tow it with an SUV. Consequently, we traded my sporty Honda Civic Coupe for a well-equipped Honda Passport with a towing package. However, after our first experience towing the camper, it became clear that we had made a significant miscalculation.

Although the Passport has a towing capacity of 5000 pounds and can manage our trailer, it’s not designed for full-time towing. We noticed the transmission was overworked, leaving us feeling insecure on the interstate. We realized we had to upgrade to a truck for safety and confidence on the road.

After several test drives, we swapped our Passport for a new Ram 1500 truck. Let me tell you, owning a truck has been an absolute delight! It tows effortlessly and is spacious, comfortable, and filled with technology.

That was a costly lesson, but it introduced us to the one secret that has repeatedly come to our rescue: fluidity.

Stay Fluid, My Friends

Few would be thrilled about buying a new vehicle only to trade it in for another shortly thereafter. We certainly weren't. Yet, in that moment of realization, we faced a choice.

We could wallow in anger or concern about the financial loss. We could complain about our lack of knowledge or adopt a victim mentality with friends and family. We opted for none of these. Why? Because those mindsets don’t serve us well.

There is little we control in life, but our responses to situations are entirely within our power. Once we acknowledged our costly mistake, we decided to view it as a learning experience. We prioritized our safety and peace of mind over financial frustration.

Fluidity Equals Happiness

Life on the road is exhilarating, challenging, and full of unpredictability. There’s a certain rhythm to it, especially when traveling cross-country, which I find enjoyable. Yet, with so many variables, it’s impossible to plan for every eventuality.

Embracing fluidity in our plans and expectations has been the cornerstone of our happiness. We maintain a “plan A” but remain flexible, ready to adapt when necessary. We focus more on the journey than the destination.

People often say that life is about the journey, and while it's a lovely sentiment, it takes genuine intention to shift focus away from outcomes. Letting go of expectations isn't easy, but it significantly enhances our happiness.

If you spent a week monitoring how much emphasis you place on outcomes, you might be surprised. Attachment to a specific result often leads to disappointment and frustration, a concept discussed in Buddhism as detachment.

My partner and I gradually became more open to whatever each day brings. When plans go awry, we pause, take a breath, and explore our options moving forward. We often remind each other, “Good thing we aren’t in a hurry,” reinforcing that we have the freedom to navigate life at our own pace.

I genuinely believe that our happiness hinges on this philosophy of fluidity. I visualize myself floating in deep water, supported by the waves. Struggles arise when we are in shallow water, attempting to remain rigid in the sand. The waves push against us, the sand shifts beneath our feet, and we struggle to find stability.

Embracing fluidity has saved us from countless arguments and tensions. It allows us to relish our life on the road, regardless of the bumps we encounter. I firmly believe that living a fluid life is the key to a happier existence, whether traveling or enjoying life in the suburbs.