Embracing Our Alter Egos: The Roles We Play in Life
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Chapter 1: The Essence of Uniforms
In the words of Kate McGahan, “We tried to make a heaven of earth, But the earth is just a stage, a school, Where we wear our masks and play our roles And teach each other how to love.” This insight resonates deeply as I reflect on my own journey, particularly the time I spent at military school at the age of 14. This experience, rich in its implications, revolved significantly around the uniforms we wore.
I had various uniforms, including a standard Class C, a ceremonial Class A, and their feminine counterparts that featured skirts and heels. I also had fatigues for training exercises and physical training outfits that matched my peers. My hair was often styled neatly or cut short. These uniforms became extensions of my identity, requiring us to maintain a polished appearance, complete with ironed creases and spit-shined shoes. The expectation was to conform, fostering a collective identity as disciplined cadets, embodying ideals of unity and American spirit. Some of us truly embraced this identity.
My husband, a firefighter, often shares that his uniform defines his responsibilities and identity while on duty, but once he returns home, that clarity blurs. This reflection highlights a crucial observation. During my time in military school, I found the uniform increasingly stifling; it began to feel disconnected from my true self. I would often push boundaries—adding flowers to my hair or wearing pajamas beneath my fatigues—leading to a sense of depression. When I ultimately set aside those uniforms, I was liberated to explore more creative expressions of myself. While I don't regret my time in military school, I recognize its importance diminished over time.
I’ve since learned that uniforms come in various forms, both official and unofficial, and we all wear them in our daily lives. The key lies in our awareness of these roles and how adeptly we navigate them.
Mothers, fathers, teachers, and counselors all have their own "uniforms," which may not always be physical attire but are nonetheless integral to their identities. Some roles are chosen, while others are imposed, but recognizing and mastering these roles can facilitate our journey through life. Akiroq Brost beautifully articulates this: “Everyone is playing roles. Mother, friend, caretaker, friend, boss, etc. Every role comes with values and intentions. Identify all the roles you are playing. What are the values and intentions of those roles? Awareness can help you to be more effective in your roles.”
Section 1.1: Daily Roles and Their Significance
As I examine the various roles I take on daily, I recognize the complexity of my identity. I am a caretaker to a young adult, two elderly pets, and my spouse, while also nurturing my own needs. It’s crucial to differentiate between being a caretaker for others and for oneself. I also embody the roles of a yogi, teacher, acupuncturist, friend, writer, entrepreneur, and more.
The more present I am in each role, the better I can tailor my “uniform” to fit my authentic self. For instance, to step into my role as a writer, I create an environment conducive to creativity: I read, write, and even enjoy a cup of tea as I immerse myself in this identity.
Some alter egos serve as protective constructs during challenging times. As a young girl facing trauma, I developed a resilient persona alongside a shadow self that appeared indifferent. I now see that shadow as a wounded warrior. When I finally shed that armor, I felt a sense of liberation, like graduating into the unknown. Sometimes, I tap into what I consider a "super alter ego," an empowered archetype that helps me navigate overwhelm.
Section 1.2: The Importance of Self-Awareness
It’s vital to remember that we are both our roles and something beyond them. A solid meditation practice supports the understanding that life is a performance, and we can step off the stage whenever we choose. One of my roles as a yogi acts as a bridge, guiding me back to my true self—the part that enjoys the journey. Without this grounding, it’s easy to confuse our roles with our essence, leading to overwhelm. Regular practice allows me to quiet the mind and cultivate curiosity and compassion for both myself and others.
As Joseph Campbell notes, “To become— in Jung’s terms—individuated, to live as a released individual, one has to know how and when to put on and to put off the masks of one’s various life roles.” The roles we embrace are constructs of our souls, essential to our learning journey.
What uniforms do you wear? Which ones require more attention? Are there roles you’re contemplating trying on? Which ones have you outgrown?
In the video "Why EVERY Athlete Needs an Alter Ego," we explore how athletes can leverage alter egos to enhance performance and overcome challenges.
The second video, "Conquer Laziness: Daily Habits For Unstoppable Motivation & Productivity | Todd Herman," discusses effective strategies for maintaining motivation and productivity in daily life.