Chapter 1: Awakening to the World Beyond

Every day can feel repetitive, like being trapped in a cycle of the same routine, familiar faces, and recurring thoughts. Today, I sense a restlessness within me, as if I’m peering at life through a constricted lens. The vastness of existence seems just out of reach, and I’m beginning to realize I might be overlooking so much.

As I navigate my usual route, monotony sets in. However, when I shift my focus to my surroundings, I start to notice the hidden gems—an unnoticed park, a quirky café, a delightful food stall, or simply a fresh perspective on a well-known street. This realization brings me joy.

Suddenly, the ordinary transforms into something captivating. Even in the most mundane locations, there are intricate details and untold stories waiting to be discovered. It’s all there for us to see, if we only allow ourselves the time to truly observe.

To glance is to merely touch the surface.

To truly observe is to engage deeply.

Seeing is not solely about what our eyes perceive; it involves directing our attention purposefully. In Latin, the term "spectare" implies focused observation—an invitation to watch attentively, whether from a distance or up close.

This notion of "spectare" resonates beautifully with the idea of "unselfing," a concept I’ve been delving into, introduced by Iris Murdoch.

“The beauty of the kestrel is a value perceived in the outside world and occasions a shift to a less egocentric mode of attention. Unselfing can occur in various ways, encompassing appreciation of nature, art, contemplative practices, and intellectual disciplines — basically, anything that involves non-egocentric attention to reality and recognition of value(s) lying outside the self.” — Iris Murdoch

Murdoch suggests that our usual mindset tends to center on ourselves (egocentric), but by appreciating something external, like a kestrel, we can redirect our focus away from our own existence. This allows us to genuinely “see” the beauty and experiences unfolding around us, nurturing a stronger bond with our environment.

“Unselfing might thus reduce the discrepancy between what we see as important given our egocentric biases and what is more important in a wider context, and enable one to form more encompassing values than self-enhancement values.” — Iris Murdoch

Embracing unselfing has shifted my perspective; I no longer solely concentrate on reaching my destination. I begin to recognize the intricate world around me, acknowledging its complexities and needs. I can appreciate the beauty, urgency, and diversity of life happening beyond my personal journey.

The advantages of unselfing extend beyond personal evolution; they also profoundly affect our relationships. Unselfing enables us to love our friends and family for who they truly are, rather than for what they can provide us. When we are not solely focused on ourselves, we become more receptive to their needs and viewpoints, deepening our connections.

Through my journey of unselfing, I’ve learned to value the world beyond my own experiences. It diminishes egocentrism, encouraging a broader understanding and appreciation of diverse perspectives.

Have you explored the essence of unselfing and found beauty in the ordinary?

© 2024 by Afiani Rui

Thank you for sharing in my journey. I hope my reflections resonated with you. Feel free to reach out with comments or support. Enjoy your reading!

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