The Art of Authentic Engagement in a Social Media World
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Chapter 1: The Challenge of Genuine Engagement
The superficial nature of performative engagement on social media can be quite frustrating, yet it remains effective in many scenarios.
Photo by Shane Rounce on Unsplash
I'm not adept at feigning enthusiasm. Pretending, exaggerating praise, or showing false interest just isn't my style. My reactions tend to be quite reserved, and when I have to act overly enthusiastic, it generally falls flat. I wear my emotions openly—if you ask, "Isn't this amazing?" I'm more likely to respond, "It's alright." Therefore, when I express genuine appreciation for something, it carries more weight than you might expect. I find excessive praise and hyperbole off-putting.
I was never one to engage in excessive flattery, even when I managed creatives. When I did express approval, it truly meant something because I reserved my compliments for situations that warranted them. While I may have been tough, the industry demanded it; I was relatively lenient in comparison. I often understood the intent behind their work and could articulate why certain approaches might not resonate in specific contexts.
New Rules for Engagement
It's uncertain whether social media has cultivated a culture of constant validation or if the yearning for recognition has fueled the rise of platforms that encourage ongoing interaction. Observing a few young creators I know, it's evident that growing an audience on social media requires significant time spent engaging with their followers, often matching or exceeding the hours dedicated to content creation.
This realization has made me reflect on my own social media habits. I tend to click the like button and occasionally send a brief message. Is that sufficient? Sometimes, it feels like responding to a thank-you note with yet another thank-you note. Enough is enough.
Building a Personal Brand
Ironically, in my professional life, I assist companies in connecting with consumers through creative strategies and innovative branding. I teach them the art of storytelling and how to engage their audience effectively, which isn't vastly different from developing a personal brand on social media.
The distinction lies in my reluctance to engage in flattery. While some people thrive on connecting with everyone and responding to every comment, I often find myself as the awkward introvert, shying away from social interactions. This raises an important question: If I want to grow my audience, do I need to be more expressive? It doesn't come naturally to me, so any effort would feel disingenuous. Would a more enthusiastic approach lead to a more engaged audience?
Inconceivable Connections
Humorist David Sedaris recounts his early struggles as a writer in New York City. He attended a play featuring Wallace Shawn, who was greeting attendees in the lobby. Regardless of the play's quality, Sedaris felt positively about it simply because he had met Shawn, highlighting how personal connections can influence our perceptions. This dynamic likely extends to social media; we tend to be more understanding and patient with those we feel we know.
Let’s Build Friendships
Another key aspect of human interaction is the fact that we generally appreciate those who show genuine interest in us. This instinctive response is often overlooked.
While I'm not keen on expanding my social circle and often decline social invitations, I engage with individuals online regularly. I have virtual friends I've never met in person and haven't spoken to in years. Therefore, my tendency isn't to embrace everyone as a friend; even if I did, it might not come across as warm. I don't advocate for insincerity, but I do think I could benefit from being more curious about others, engaging with people to uncover intriguing stories—not solely for their benefit, but for my own enrichment. The world is vast and filled with captivating individuals, and my love for storytelling opens doors to many of them.
So, I might as well relish the journey.
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Chapter 2: The Dance of Compliments
Understanding how to compliment effectively can make a significant difference in building relationships.
The first video: How To Compliment Women Properly ⚠️ (Beware of the Flattery Trap) - YouTube
This video discusses the nuances of giving compliments without crossing the line into insincerity. It emphasizes the importance of authenticity in praise.
Chapter 3: Words that Captivate
The right words can resonate deeply, leading to stronger connections.
The second video: 3 Man-Melting Phrases That Make A Guy Fall For You - Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy
In this video, Matthew Hussey shares phrases that can create emotional connections, emphasizing the power of thoughtful communication.