The Sticks and Stones of Reputation: Building Character Daily
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Chapter 1: Understanding Reputation
We all have those days when we agree to do something we should decline. I experienced such a day when I was asked to take charge of a website. Deep down, I felt a resounding "No!" but I dismissed that instinct. I should have asked for more assistance instead of being told, "You can find tutorials online."
Initially, I thought it would be straightforward. However, that assumption quickly proved to be misguided. What began as a few promises to resolve the issue within a week or two spiraled into procrastination and excuses. A month slipped by, and soon, I found myself in a situation where people were frustrated with me. I had failed to deliver on my commitments, which hurt not just my credibility but also my relationships.
Eventually, I managed to rectify the website's issues, revealing that the task was simpler than I had imagined. However, mending the relationships I had strained was far more challenging.
Section 1.1: The Impact of Habits on Reputation
Habits such as procrastination and excuse-making can significantly tarnish your reputation. This realization forced me to reflect deeply: at what moment does our reputation begin to shape our identity? Perhaps it starts the instant we rise from bed. Each decision we make contributes to the overall perception of who we are.
Reputation differs from merely worrying about others' opinions; it's broader and relates more to one's character. While popularity can fade quickly, character endures. Reputation is akin to air: often taken for granted until it's on the verge of disappearing. It's sobering to recognize that a reputation is something we must continuously uphold, regardless of whether it's positive or negative. Our actions and words either elevate us or pull us down.
It became clear to me that even simple elements like words and choices can shape our destiny. If we aren’t deliberate in our actions, we risk filling our lives with fleeting matters.
Section 1.2: Daily Investments in Character
I compiled a list of expectations we must meet:
- Our history and how our families perceive us
- Our community
- Innate talents
- Our reputation, both favorable and unfavorable
- Our aspirations
- Commitments and promises
- Friendships
- The way we speak to and treat ourselves
It dawned on me that we can either dwell on the unchangeable—our abilities, family, past, and external opinions—or we can focus on what we can control: our commitments, choices, and influences.
Restoring a reputation starts with the "sticks and stones" of life: our words and decisions. This is an ongoing journey for me. Character is like a bank account; it demands daily deposits rather than occasional large payments. It’s easy to appear heroic for a day, but demonstrating integrity every single day is the true test of character.
Chapter 2: The Influence of Words and Choices
The first video, Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, but Words Will Break My Heart, highlights the profound impact of words on our emotional well-being and relationships.
The second video, Reputation Paradox, delves into how our reputation affects our interactions and self-perception.
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This article was originally published on The Good Men Project.
About the Author
Sean Swaby is a writer focused on mental health, addiction, family dynamics, and the power of storytelling. An Internationally Certified Clinical Addiction Counselor, he also serves as a Certified Counselor with the Canadian Psychotherapy and Counselling Association. You can follow his work at smswaby.wordpress.com and on Facebook. In addition to his role as an Editor with The Good Men Project, Sean has contributed to Babble and The Mighty.