Rethinking Success: Why Facebook Questions Can Hold You Back
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Chapter 1: The Facebook Dilemma
You've likely encountered the common query about finding success on platforms like Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn.
The typical phrasing goes something like this: "Will I excel at [insert your passion]?" This could range from dog walking to acing an accounting exam. But why seek affirmation from Facebook about your potential? This habit can exacerbate feelings of Imposter Syndrome, which is not a healthy trend.
Asking this question on Facebook does little to support your aspirations. I find this inquiry bothersome because it fosters uncertainty in people's minds. It's time to cease seeking validation from Facebook regarding your success in any endeavor.
Let's say you're leaving your job to pursue a career in professional basketball—or even volleyball, a sport I'm less familiar with. You invest a year training, only to realize you’re not particularly talented at it. Yet, you solicit encouraging messages from your Facebook friends about your career shift. Everyone cheers you on, creating a facade of public support for your ambitions.
Messages like, "Believe in yourself! You can do this!" seem uplifting until you realize that, in reality, many will quietly withdraw their support or even wish for your failure.
Isn't that the truth? People may secretly feel pleased, but they often drift away. Your success is your responsibility, and the reality is that everyone has their own issues to tackle. But you did ask them about your potential for success, didn’t you?
Section 1.1: The Status Update Trap
Not long ago, I scrolled through my newsfeed and came across a status from an acquaintance. It was one of those "Look at me, I'm thriving!" posts, boasting about living the dream in California and achieving financial independence.
His message was clear: "Ignore the naysayers; you can do anything if you set your mind to it!" Naturally, I clicked "like" not just because he’s a friend, but because I resonated with his optimistic outlook.
While his post is indeed motivational, the reality is that not everyone can achieve their dreams so effortlessly. This misconception can mislead people into thinking their goals are easily attainable, despite facing significant challenges along the way.
To succeed, you need a solid plan and the determination to follow through. This isn’t reliant on validation from your Facebook friends, family, or even your "new course" group.
Subsection 1.1.1: The "Family" Effect
You join an online course and suddenly, everyone becomes your "new family," asking if you will succeed. It's baffling! I’ve noticed this question more often than I’ve seen my name spelled correctly on Facebook.
Where did this trend originate? It’s time to put it to rest. Every time someone shares their new job, engagement, or parenting journey, there’s usually someone asking, “Will you be successful?”
This question frustrates me, especially when I realize that the person asking has likely posed the same question themselves. It’s like Imposter Syndrome on overdrive. You are skilled in your field, so you don't need Facebook to validate your abilities—unless they are your actual clients.
Section 1.2: Seeking Validation
Your life is surrounded by people eager to know if you’ll succeed in your endeavors. This means that when someone embarks on a new job, there’s almost always someone asking about their prospects.
While it’s acceptable to seek guidance from a mentor or a coach, this incessant questioning of success is futile; life is unpredictable. However, you can increase your chances of success through diligence and preparation.
Some individuals strike it lucky, while others do not. There are no guarantees, but we can create our own opportunities through hard work.
Chapter 2: Embracing Your Journey
The first video, "Why Bother Asking? (You Should!)" addresses the importance of seeking knowledge and guidance rather than validation.
The second video, "How to answer 'Why Facebook'," delves into the reasons behind our reliance on social media for affirmation.
If you aim to achieve a particular level of success, enjoy the process. Work diligently, practice patience, and success will come if it aligns with your path.
When it does, don’t fret over whether someone on Facebook will question your achievements. Just smile, knowing that you have accomplished what you set out to achieve.
And for the love of everything, please stop asking Facebook to define your future; it’s contributing to your feelings of inadequacy when you don’t deserve it.
As the author of "Imposter Syndrome" available on Audible and Amazon, I’ll leave you with this thought: Do you think I will succeed? Actually, don’t answer that.