Existential Sleep

At the beginning of this discussion, I mentioned how easily we settle into routines. This phenomenon is akin to being lulled into a state of unconsciousness by our jobs, oblivious to the passage of time. Days morph into weeks, weeks into months, and before long, years slip by unnoticed.

Our hair begins to turn gray, work becomes routine, and we grow complacent. We may acknowledge aging, but it hardly matters, as it seems to be the fate of everyone: we age and eventually die. Yet to truly live is to remain awake — to resist falling into this existential lethargy. Occasionally, we experience moments that jolt us back to consciousness.

A few months ago, while enjoying a day off at a coffee shop, I found myself gazing out at the falling snow. I was fortunate to have a window seat and was reading Fitzgerald's The Beautiful and Damned. Suddenly, I caught my reflection in the glass — I had morphed into someone I never aimed to be.

I had become a bland, unremarkable individual, fearful of pursuing opportunities that might disrupt my comfortable routine. I felt a wave of self-loathing as I retraced the steps that led me here, recognizing the beliefs I needed to shed to rediscover my true self. Yet, I found myself slipping back into the very trap that ensnared me initially. I hadn’t sought new job opportunities or charted a different path.

There's irony in how I arrived at this point. In trying to escape becoming a generic, uninspiring person, I inadvertently transformed into that very image. It seems that focusing on what you want to avoid can paradoxically pull you closer to it; without a positive direction to move toward, you're left with only the negative, which ultimately leads you back to your fears.

The first video, "Fiona Apple - Sleep to Dream," explores themes of yearning and self-reflection, resonating deeply with the notion of existential awakening.

Affirmation through Negation

This experience brings to mind Sartre’s philosophy: to exist as something, one must negate nothingness. In essence, if you are defined by what you are not, you risk missing the essence of who you are meant to be.

If my primary aim is to avoid becoming a certain type of person, I lack a constructive direction. My avoidance can lead to accidental outcomes, as happened when I fell into a role as a furniture salesperson. This unintentional choice left me feeling unfulfilled, as my only focus was on what I wanted to escape, and in doing so, I became the very thing I wanted to avoid.

Rhythms and Patterns of Life

As children, we observe the adults around us, replicating their patterns. We see them go to work, return home, watch television, and then sleep. We either emulate or reject these behaviors as we grow.

It can be argued that we are shaped by our lifestyle choices. If we accept a life where we work tirelessly, vacation minimally, and eventually pass away, we bear responsibility for our situation. If we live beyond our means and feel trapped, we must recognize our part in this entrapment.

This crucial topic is rarely addressed in education. In philosophy classes, we often delve into abstract theories without recognizing that philosophy must be lived to hold relevance. When divorced from lived experience, philosophical concepts become as lifeless as ancient texts.

Alan Watts famously described humans as a form of jazz, constantly improvising in ways that define our authenticity. While this perspective holds some truth, it also reflects an ideal we strive for. We aspire to develop patterns that truly express our individuality, yet external forces often manipulate us, threatening our sense of agency.

This underscores the enduring relevance of philosophy, especially Existentialism. The discussions surrounding absurdity, agency, and the nature of existence continue to resonate, offering valuable insights to awaken us from existential slumber and help us lead more authentic lives.

The second video, "To Sleep, Perchance to Dream: Crash Course Psychology #9," delves into the psychological aspects of sleep and consciousness, complementing the themes of this discussion.

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