Chapter 1: The Struggle to Keep Going

I refuse to explain to my future self why I decided to quit. I'm still pushing forward... I'm still here.

Photo by Christopher Ott on Unsplash

I can’t be the only one who has contemplated throwing in the towel at times. We often find ourselves caught between limitless potential and feelings of frustration. While I dislike the thought of giving up, there are days when it feels like the weight of my aspirations is too much to bear. I realize that I can’t expect growth if I don’t take the initiative to plant seeds of effort.

To be completely honest, there have been moments when I abandoned projects far too soon, and I can’t help but wonder how my life might have changed had I persevered. One of my ongoing battles is to remind myself of the dedication I’ve already invested and how disappointing it would be to abandon my dreams now. Writing is my passion; I cherish it so much that I often write about the process itself. Yet, it can be an overwhelming journey, especially when progress feels stagnant.

Whenever I sense that my output isn’t meeting my expectations, I tend to take extended breaks from writing. It’s not that I lack ideas; rather, I become disheartened when my engagement and views don’t reflect my efforts. Perhaps it’s because it often feels like I’m speaking into a void. While I’ve often discussed the importance of writing for the sake of writing, I still find myself fixating on numbers at times.

However, retreating into isolation and vowing to stop writing won’t help me achieve my goals. After all, if I don’t write, my words can’t reach anyone. This concept isn’t new to me, but I need to keep reminding myself. Consistency is crucial.

In any endeavor, inconsistency diminishes the chances of success. Just like I can’t go to the gym once and expect to see immediate results, I find myself growing impatient when things don’t unfold as quickly as I wish. Naturally, this contributes to my inclination to wallow in self-pity.

Setting my dramatics aside, I know that regardless of how I feel, I need to prioritize my writing. You likely have something in your life that requires more attention too, so don’t judge. Perhaps it’s part of human nature to desire something intensely, and when it doesn’t materialize according to our timeline, we fear it may not be meant for us. Remember, quitters never win, and winners never quit.

My greatest fear is to bid farewell to writing and then look in the mirror filled with regret. I dread asking myself, “What have you done?” or worse, “What haven’t you done?” The idea of waking up in ten years only to realize I gave up too soon terrifies me. It may feel like I’m only scratching the surface now, but what if the breakthrough is just around the corner? What if my dreams, and yours too, are just a step away from realization?

I’ll never discover how far I could have gone if I choose to stop here. Even in moments of doubt, something deep within me